Chapter 39 - Someday, Maybe?

 

 

 

Beth is in their bedroom, putting away and hanging up cleans clothes that she had washed earlier in the day.  She is at her dresser, with her back to the door when she hears, "Beth?"

Knowing the voice,, she quickly turns around and smiles at Stephanie as she walks through the door.  "Hey there.  When did you get home?"

"We just got here." Stephanie tells her as she walks to the bed and sits down.

"Are the boys here?" Beth questions, shocked that Stephanie came up without Romeo.

"Yeah, they're downstairs with dad and Maria."  Beth walks over to the young lady and sits down next to her.

"How are you?"

Stephanie is on the verge of asking to have a conversation that she knows that Beth doesn't want to have, but she knows that Beth will be honest and tell her what she wants to know.  "I'm okay, can we talk?"

"Absolutely, what do you want to talk about?" Beth asks, forgetting that they told her that they would explain Dalton to her when she got home.

"Dalton." came out of her mouth and Beth's heart stopped.  "I want you to tell me what happened with Dalton.  My mom wouldn't tell me." 

Beth sat there frozen for a few moments and started with, "I'm glad that your mom didn't tell you.  That's something you need to hear from me and your dad."  Beth reaches out and sets her hand on Stephanie's knee.  With a deep breath, she asks, "Do you want your dad to come up?"

Stephanie shakes her head no, "I want it to be just us, between us."  Beth can't help putting her arm around the teen and gives her a hug, she can see that Stephanie is genuinely concerned.

"Well" Beth starts with her arm still around Stephanie.  "Dalton and I dated for a while after I went back to California.  He was a nice guy and I really liked him, I thought that I might have a future with him, although I couldn't give him myself 1100%."  She pauses, "Dalton and I had a special relationship and he came into my life after we lost your sisters and I left your dad."

Stephanie looks at Beth and asks, "Why was your relationship special?"

"Dalton understood my lack of intimacy and seemed to deal with it well." Beth answers her as honestly as she could.

"I don't get it?  What do you mean?" Rose wanted to be sure that she understood everything that Beth was telling her, she needed it to make sense in her own mind because of what her mother said.

"Dalton and I never had sex." she stated and waited.  When Stephanie didn't question that, Beth went on to tell her, "He seemed to understand that I wasn't ready for a sexual relationship, he was compassionate and he seemed to really care for me."

"Then what happened?" Steph asks, not really knowing how Beth ended up back with her dad.  She had seen Beth in LA, but never knew that she was with her dad, until Jon called and explained that they were together.  Jon and Beth wanted the kids and the family to find out from them that they were together, so they made a couple of calls and left it at that. 

"Well, your dad and I ran into each other in the city one weekend, at the apartment building.  We ended up talking and spent the night together.  I felt terrible having cheated on Dalton, but I went on my business and planned to meet Dalton in Greece.  Unbeknownst to me, your dad was going to be in Greece at that time too for a show.  When I learned that they were playing, I went to the show and Rew seen me.  He ushered me back stage and the rest is history."

Stephanie is even more confused now.  "What does my mom know that I don't then?  Why would my mom say what she said to you on the beach the other day?"

Beth sees that she is in uncharted water, and she knows that she needs to tread lightly but she wasn't going to sugar coat it or lie to her.  Stephanie has questions and Beth has the answers. 

"When your dad and I reconnected in Greece, we spent another night together and Dalton caught us." she stands up and starts to pace, "I was unfaithful to Dalton with your father and we were busted.  Dalton was supposed to meet me in Greece and we were going to go on vacation together - but when he showed up at my hotel room and your dad answered the door, Dalton was crushed."  Beth runs her fingers through her hair, plays with it for a minute and pulls it back into a pony tail.  "Dalton walked away from that hotel room and I didn't see him until weeks later when I went back to LA and your dad came home."

"So why did you see Dalton again if you were with my dad?" Stephanie asks "Why did you go to LA when dad came back here?"

"I had things that I needed to take care of back there before I could come back here and make a life with you kids and your dad."

"Then why did you see Dalton?  Did you cheat on my dad with Dalton?" Stephanie kind of mumbles.

Beth stops and looks at her, "Absolutely not.  I would never do that to your father.  I can't believe that I did it to Dalton because that's not me at all."

"Then what happened?"

Beth takes a seat next to Stephanie again and starts with the whole truth and nothing but the truth, "I came home late one night and when I finished taking a shower, I stepped out and Dalton was in my bathroom."

 

"Doing what?"

 

"Hiding.  He was there to hurt me." Beth looks for it to click with Stephanie, yet it doesn't.

 

"To hurt you?  He cared for you?!"

 

Beth gives Stephanie a look and says, "Your dad and I humiliated him and I broke his heart by being intimate with your dad - specially since I never was with him."

 

"How did he hurt you?  What did he do?" she's feeling a little anxious about the way that the conversation is heading, but it still doesn't click with her.  She can hear what her mother yelled at Beth and so far the dots haven't connected.

 

Beth turns to face Stephanie and she confesses, with a lump in her throat, "Dalton raped me."  As soon as Beth muttered those words, they were greeted by another familiar voice.

 

"What are my two favorite girls doing?"  They hear Jon say as he walks into the room.  Jon can see the looks on their faces and he can see that Stephanie is about to cry.  Stephanie looks to her dad like she may need comfort, but she is drawn to Beth.  Stephanie throws her arm around Beth's neck and just hugs her.

 

Jon stops next to them and asks, "I take it you told her?"

 

Nodding, Beth says, "Just." 

 

Jon reaches over and puts his hand on his daughters head and asks, "Are you okay Stephanie?"  He gets no response for a few seconds so he decided to let what she just heard sink in.  He sits behind Beth and kisses the back of her head, and in that position he's able to look at his daughter.  He winks at her and he sees the tears rolling down her face.  "We're getting through this."

 

"Dad, why do you let mom talk to Beth like she does?" Rose asks her dad, with a hint of anger; or maybe frustration.  "Beth, why do you let her get away with it too?"

 

With Stephanie's arms tightly around Beth, Beth tells her, "The outcome for that conversation would have been totally different had you not walked up.  Your mother had me seeing red and I can admit, I was going to hit her."  Beth can feel Stephanie's hold on her ease a little bit, so she went ahead and added, "I'll never get into a situation like that with your mom again.  I let her get to me and I never should have.  I never should have gone out there."  Beth kisses the side of Stephanie's head.

 

Stephanie sits there amongst her dad and Beth and let's what she heard sink in.  But in doing so, it raised more questions for Stephanie.  "Why would he do that to you?" she quietly asks.

 

Beth feels Jon's hand on the small of her back, letting her know that he was right there, "He was upset that I was able to make love with your dad after not seeing him for a year, but I refused to have sex with him.  I think he felt like he was cheated, like he wasn't worthy of me.  It's really hard to say."

 

"Are you okay now?" the young lady asks, piecing together the black eye and the bruises that she had seen on her legs and arms.  Stephanie knew that the bruises were old because they were purple, but none the less, they were bruises.

 

"I'm okay now, Rose.  And I get better everyday."  Beth tells her, reaching back and putting a hand on Jon's leg.  Jon laid back on the bed, with his hands under his head and looks at two of the three most important women in his life.  He sees the bond that the two of them have and a little part is jealous.  His relationship with Stephanie has changed since Beth entered the picture and he was okay with that.  He can see that his daughter loves and respects Beth and that makes him happy.  It was important that the kids accepted her, and they all did.  Far more than anyone could have anticipated.

 

"What happened with Dalton?  Did he go to jail?"

 

Jon takes a turn here, "Yeah, babe - he's in jail.  And he'll be there for a long time." 

 

"Are you sure?" the teenager asks, needing to know that he won't come back and try it again.

 

"We're sure."  Beth reassures her and says, "He really did a number on me, on us and we are getting through it.  It's just another bump in the road that we had to get over and we did it together.  I don't know where I would be if it weren't for your uncle Richie."

 

"Richie?" Step questions, "How does Richie fit into this?"  She sits up, letting go of Beth.  She takes her sleeve and wipes her tears away. 

 

"When Beth called me and told me what happened, I was here and she was there.  I didn't want her to be alone, so I called Rich and he went over and sat with her until I could get there." Jon tells his daughter, watching her facial expression change.

 

"Does Ava know?" Stephanie blurts out, feeling left out at the thought that Ava knew and Stephanie didn't.

 

Beth looks at Stephanie and smiles a little smile, "Ava doesn't know anything.  She wasn't around much when we were there."

 

"How did mom find out?"

 

Jon sits up, stands up and starts with a little pace, "That we have no idea.  We worked and tried very hard to keep it all out of the press and in the public eye.  I think she has a mole in the family, but it doesn't matter how she found out.  It's the fact that she knows and has now used it to hurt Beth."

 

"Yeah, what mom said was pretty hurtful, but even more hurtful now that I know what she meant by it."  Stephanie looks at Beth and starts to tear up again.  "I'm sorry my mom is such a bitch."

 

"Stephanie Rose!"

 

Stephanie looks at her dad and says, "What dad?  Are you going to deny that?"

 

"No, but I won't have you talking like that."  He shoots her a little stink eye.

 

Beth jumps in and tells Stephanie, "Your mother is hurting and she's going to lash out until she starts to feel better and can let go of the fact that your dad and I will be together."  Beth looks at Jon and can see that he's mentally running everything through his head.  "Right, babe?" 

 

"What?  Oh yeah, right."  Jon says, stepping back out of his day dream, "Stephanie, does your mom still talk to Joe?"

 

"All the time, why?" Stephanie tells her dad.  Joe is the neighbor that lives next door to them in SoHo.  "I just wondered."  Joe is a long time friend of Jon's, a confidant of sorts and has just started to question Joe's loyalty to Jon.  Jon is now thinking that Joe is the one that told Dot about Beth's assault, coming to the conclusion that Joe is hot for Dorothea.

 

"Why can't my mom see you for the great person that you are?" Stephanie asks Beth.

 

"Well, she's blaming me for the breakdown of her marriage.  And often, when someone is guilty, they like to put the blame elsewhere."

 

"She has no reason to blame you for anything." Stephanie professes, "She's the dumb one that cheated on my dad and got caught."

 

Jon stops this conversation, "We aren't going to sit here and bash your mom, Steph.  We all have our own feelings and thought regarding her, but the breakdown of our marriage goes much deeper than her cheating on me."

 

"I know dad."

 

"So, let's keep the conversation to the topic at hand."

 

Beth steps in and says, "Do you have any questions Stephanie?  Any at all.  Ask me and I'll tell you what you want to know."  It's important to Beth that Stephanie feels comfortable enough with her to talk to her about anything.

 

Stephanie sits there quiet for a few moments running everything through her mind.  She was fed a lot of information that needed to be absorbed and knowing what she knows makes her worry about Beth.  "Are you sure you're okay?"

 

Beth winks at her and says, "I am okay.  It's been a rough road, but with the love and the support of your father I believe we will get through this.  We will be stronger than ever and happier than ever."

 

"Does rape affect you like you see on TV?" Stephanie asks, embarrassed.

 

Beth looks at Jon and gives her attention back to Stephanie, "What do you mean?"

 

"Can my dad touch you or does that make you freak out?"

 

"I love that your dad can touch me.  I love his touches and I love that he doesn't look at me differently."

 

"Do you have bad dreams?"

 

"I've had a couple, but I wake up and when I see that you dad is next to me, I feel better."

 

"Can you have sex?"

 

Caught a little off guard by her last question, Beth knows that she needs to be honest with her and she needs to be mindful of her age.  Beth tells her, "You're dad and I are able to make love, is that what you mean?"

 

Stephanie shakes her head, trying to un hear what she just heard, "I meant, can you have sex.  Dalton didn't hurt you did he?"

 

Beth can see what Stephanie is trying to say so she stops her from struggling to find the right words, "He did hurt me, but the only lasting affect is all in my head and in my heart.  Your dad has been wonderful through all of this and his love helps with the healing process."

 

"Dad, how are you doing?" her words stop him dead in his tracks.  "Are you okay?"  Jon walks to his daughter and sits next to her on the bed, with a tear in his eye.

 

"I'm doing as well as can be expected, Rose.  It's been a long ordeal for us but we are making it through."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

Jon gives her a little giggle and says, "Yeah, I'm sure.  Why?"

 

"I know how you are when the ones that you love are hurting.  You try to take on all the pain and deal with the hurt yourself."  The young woman explains her dad to a T.  And that makes Beth laugh.

 

Jon feels that Stephanie can handle hearing all that he has to say, he can see that his daughter is wiser than her years and understands far more than anyone wanted to give her credit for.  "I don't think that anyone understands the amount of love that I feel for this woman, Stephanie.  If I could carry her pain, both physical and emotional, I would take it in a heartbeat.  She means the world to me and knowing what she endured breaks my heart."

 

"I know dad." She tries to let her dad know that she understands how he feels bout Beth, and she can see that he's not done.

 

"When she called me from California and told me what happened, I immediately felt responsible for what happened."

 

"Why?"

 

"If I would have stayed away from her in the city and then again in Greece, it never would have happened, but I couldn't stay away.  I had to be with her, and I don't mean in a sexual way." He lets out a sigh and looks at Beth, "I had to have her at my side, always."

 

Stephanie can see the look exchange between her dad and his best friend and that made her smile.  "Dad, she loves you just as much."

 

"I do!"  Beth throws in there, "I love him with all that I am and all that I will be."

 

"See." Stephanie replies, "She feels like you do."

 

Jon laughs and says, "I have never doubted her love for me and my family.  She loves us all, with all that she has."

 

"That I do, and I always will.  I'm afraid that you all are stuck with me." she tells them, and she means every word of it.  Jon and his family was all that she needed in her life, they complete her - with that little exception of being a mother herself. 

 

Beth lays back on the bed and says, "What are the boys doing?" directing her question more to Jon.  She was surprised that they hadn't come up stairs yet, especially Romeo. 

 

"Maria was making brownies when I came up, so I'm sure they're waiting for those." Jon tells her, "Should we go downstairs?"

 

"That's up to Rose.  Are we done here, or is there more that you need to talk about?  Whatever you need, I'm right here."

 

Stephanie looks to Beth and honestly tells her, "My heart is sad right now, but I'm good."

 

"Are you sure?" Beth wants to know that she is okay.

 

"I'm sad that that happened to you and if I can help you at all, you know I will."

 

"I do know that, and I thank you for that Steph."

 

There's a moment of silence until Stephanie stands up and says, "Let's go get a brownie."

 

Jon looks at Beth, Beth looks at Jon and Jon says, "Are you sure?  We aren't rushing you out of here and this conversation isn't over until you say it is."

 

"I'm good dad.  If I need to talk, I will.  You know me well enough."

 

"I do, but you're a lot like me and I don't want you holding it in until you can't deal with it anymore." he tells his oldest child, the apple of his eye.

 

"Dad, I'm okay.  I just needed to know what happened and I didn't want to be treated like a child.  Mom said some pretty bad things and I needed to know.  You guys were honest and open about it, I'm good dad."

 

"Okay." he says as he gets up off the bed and walks toward the door.  They both look back at Beth, laying on the bed, and say at the same time, "Are you coming?"

 

Beth lifts her head to look at them and says, "I'll be down in a minute, go ahead without me."

 

Jon looks at her and sees that she needs a minute, so he takes his daughters hand and leads her out of the bedroom and downstairs.  Beth lays on the bed for a few minutes, reflecting on their conversation and accepts that she is doing good, she's getting through the trauma that Dalton inflicted on them and she knows that with Jon's continued love and support - she will come out the other side a better and a complete woman.