She can hear Jon in the kitchen pouring his cup of coffee, the yawns are loud and so are his stretches. He sees the patio door open and figures that she's out there.
Heading in that direction, he stops at his bag and sees that his cigarettes are gone. "Babe, do you have my smokes?" he yells to her from the house.
Heading in that direction, he stops at his bag and sees that his cigarettes are gone. "Babe, do you have my smokes?" he yells to her from the house.
"Yeah, they're out here." she answers him back and waits for him to appear.
He stops in the doorway, coffee in hand and lets his eyes adjust to the sunlight, while telling her, "Good Morning!"
She looks at him and smiles as she gets up to kiss him. "How did you sleep?" she kisses his lips. Once, twice and puts her arms around him. He reaches over her arm and cracks her on the ass.
"That's for keeping me up all night." he tells her. They sit at the patio table and have coffee together in what is quickly becoming their favorite place.
"How did I keep you up all night?"
He smiles at her, "Babe, you were really restless. Tossing and turning all night long." he tells her and he can see that she knows why. "Once I spooned you and held you tight, you would fall back into a deep sleep."
"I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry. I know that it will get better in time."
She takes a deep breath and tells him, "I've been out here for a few hours and have had plenty of time to think."
"Oh yeah?" he questions, "About what?"
She wants him to look at her when she says what she is going to say, "I refuse to let Dalton ruin anymore of our life together. If we have to, we get bodyguards for your whole family and get on with life. I'm going to make this Vineyard a huge success and you need to keep writing. I won't let him control another second of our lives." he can see that she means it. "We have suffered through so much and had to put on the fake happy face, but I am happy with you and the kids and the smiles are no longer going to be forced. The world will know that we are united and we will beat Dalton at this game. If I have to, I'll go see the judge that let him out and see what I can do to keep him away. I'm taking my freedom back Jon."
He looks at her, cracks a smile and claps his hands. "There is the hard ass that I fell in love with."
"No hard ass about it, I have had enough of others robbing us of our happiness. It seems that it's one bullshit crisis after the other and I've had enough" she takes a cigarette from the pack and lights it. "We deserve some pure happiness and so do the kids."
He takes a drink of his coffee and responds to what she has just said, "We do deserve to be happy, but we can't just float by this one babe. We can't be happy with this hanging over our heads, we have to deal with it."
"We are dealing with it."
Jon is a reader and over the last year he has read many book on grief and the processes that a person needs to go through to ultimately feel closure and he needs to share his thoughts with her. "Babe, I think that you're in the anger phase, and once that passes we can get on the road to happiness. You have too much bottled up inside and once you learn to let that go, our road to success will be paved in gold."
"Jon, I am well aware of the five stages of grief, and I go through all of them what feels like daily. I am angry, and I have every right to be."
"I'm not saying that you don't, but I really don't think that you went through the whole process with the girls and then when you add Dalton - I think you're at 2 different phase for each crisis and can't get out." he leans in toward her and puts his hands on her knees, "And I want to help you through both so I can have the Beth back that I know is in there."
"I'm still the same me."
Jon takes pause for a moment before he says his next statements, but he knows that he has to say it. "The Beth that likes fresh fruit, running, eating breakfast in bed and high finance is in there, but she's fragments. I want to help you put you back together so I can have the Beth back that doesn't puke at the sound of the name, the Beth that isn't afraid to go running alone, the Beth that would make love to my whole body and not make me feel like we're going through the motions." and he stops right there, because that made her look at him.
"What do you mean by that? When we make love, I give you all of me and I take all of you." she states, she was hurt by what he just said. "That hurt Jon."
"It wasn't meant to hurt you, babe. But no one knows you like I do and when you make love to me, I can tell that it's not all of you. It feels like you're holding back."
The lump in her throat was starting to burn and it was hard to swallow, "Are you serious?"
He nods his head yes. "I can tell that you're somewhere else and I know that will change in time. And I want you to know that THAT is the least of my concerns. I want you, and I want you better."
Beth has no idea what he's talking about. Could it be possible that he sees something that she doesn't. Did Dalton rob them of more than they thought? Has he entered the most ultimate part of their relationship and destroyed it? "Honey, I can't believe that you think that you get less of me when we make love."
"That's not what I'm saying." he gets up and sits on her lap. Looking her in the eyes he explains, "When we used to make love, the desire in your eyes was unmistakable. But now, when I look into your eyes, I can see that you're somewhere else. And I don't mean that you're thinking of someone else and you just want it to be over, it's like you're removed from your body."
She doesn't know what to say. She rests her arm across his legs and looks up at him, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"It's nothing that you need to be sorry about. I just wanted to let you know what I see, babe."
"When we're making love, it's just me and you."
"Do you relive the attack at all, when we're together?" was a question he has wanted to as for weeks, but was truthfully afraid of the answer. He doesn't want to hear that his touch reminds her of a terrible time in her life, probably the 2nd worse time in her life.
"NO, not at all. And that surprises me. The shrink said that it may happen, but when we make love - he and the attack never enters my mind." she swallows hard again, the burn getting worse and her stomach turning. "I see reminders of him in everyday life and have learned to cope with them."
Curious, Jon asks, "What types of reminders?"
Beth reaches for her coffee and takes a sip. That buys her a few seconds and she starts to tell him, "I can walk passed someone in the mall and smell him. I see products that he's invested in all the time. There are sounds that I hear that remind me of him, some days he's everywhere."
"How do you deal with it?" he asks her, running his hands through her long blonde hair.
She admits, "I just breath through it and try to focus on something else. But that was before I knew he was free."
"You're safe."
"I know, I met the guys earlier." she runs her hand up his thigh, then lingers on his uncovered belly. She loves when he's shirtless. She traces his belly button with a finger and tells him, "You can go home today if you want, I'll be fine."
"I'm not leaving until morning. Already took care of it." he looks at her, wondering where that came from. "Do you think I would leave before I had to?"
She smiles and just shakes her head no. "Ok, so what do you want to do today?" Looking up, she adds, "It's a prefect day here today, looks like the sky is the limit."
"Let's go into town. I want to take a look around and see what's here."
"I need to shower, are you going to join me?" she pats him on his leg. "You need to let me up."
Winking at her, he leans over and kisses her forehead. "I love you."
"I love you."
They took some time and went into town and had a quick look around. As they walked through the small town square, they were spotted by a fan that made a big deal out of it. She started to scream hysterically and made one hell of a scene. Mutt and Jeff quickly ushered Jon and Beth back to the SUV and got them out of town. There wasn't anyplace that they could hide and wait it out, so they just went back to the Vineyard. That bummed Beth out, but it was a cheap exchange for spending the rest of her life with her rock star. She had to give up a little, to get a lot and she could live with that.
When they got out of the SUV back at the Vineyard, it was obvious that word had leaked that they were there and that quickly became too much for Beth. As they stood in the living room of the vineyard home, looking out the window Beth grabbed his hand and said, "Let's go home."
Jon looks at her, "Why?"
"It doesn't feel safe anymore." and she walks into the bedroom. He stands there and stares for a minute, there are a few fans out there, but once word got out - the whole world would know that he's there. He knows he needs to get her out of there. He goes into the bedroom and sees her throwing her things back in her bags. "I think I'll call Vincenzo tomorrow and give him the management position, until I can get out here and find a new one."
Jon can see that she's not happy, but the fact of the matter is, there wasn't anything he could do to make her feel better other than get her out of there. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" she asks as she takes her clothes off of the hangers and flings them into her bag. "Sorry that I brought the asshole into our lives and God knows how long we'll have to pay for it."
Jon walks up to her and stops her, with a hand on each shoulder he reassures her again, "Beth, this is not your fault. Stop thinking that it is."
"How am I supposed to do that?" she snaps back. Feeling overwhelmed she sits on the edge of the bed, "If I didn't love you and your children like I do, if I had kicked you out of my apartment, if I had stayed away from the show in Greece.....I could have avoided all of this, if I had thought with my head and not my heart."
He sits sown next to her and takes her hands, "You have to stop beating yourself up over this, this isn't your fault, in any way."
"Had I listened to you in New York, we wouldn't be leaving our own property because some asshole might find out where I'm at."
He kisses her hands and says, "If you want to place blame, place it here. I could have told you I was going to Greece and given you the option to change your plans. But I knew you'd be at the show."
"That would have only prevented him from catching us together. I should have kicked you out of my apartment before we made love. That's the only thing that would have avoided all of this."
"Ok, but you didn't and we just need to deal with it the best way that we can. I'll get you the best security money can buy, babe you will be safe."
"Who wants to live in the shadow of a body guard, and we need to stop assuming that he's coming after me? He could have a case of the ass for you too. You need security, too." She gets up to finish packing.
When she's done with her clothes and personal things, she packs Jon's up too. He went outside and talked to the guards that are on duty, letting them know that they would need to take them to the airport. He then walked off and had a cigarette while he called his pilot and told him to file a flight plan, they were leaving tonight.
"No hard ass about it, I have had enough of others robbing us of our happiness. It seems that it's one bullshit crisis after the other and I've had enough" she takes a cigarette from the pack and lights it. "We deserve some pure happiness and so do the kids."
He takes a drink of his coffee and responds to what she has just said, "We do deserve to be happy, but we can't just float by this one babe. We can't be happy with this hanging over our heads, we have to deal with it."
"We are dealing with it."
Jon is a reader and over the last year he has read many book on grief and the processes that a person needs to go through to ultimately feel closure and he needs to share his thoughts with her. "Babe, I think that you're in the anger phase, and once that passes we can get on the road to happiness. You have too much bottled up inside and once you learn to let that go, our road to success will be paved in gold."
"Jon, I am well aware of the five stages of grief, and I go through all of them what feels like daily. I am angry, and I have every right to be."
"I'm not saying that you don't, but I really don't think that you went through the whole process with the girls and then when you add Dalton - I think you're at 2 different phase for each crisis and can't get out." he leans in toward her and puts his hands on her knees, "And I want to help you through both so I can have the Beth back that I know is in there."
"I'm still the same me."
Jon takes pause for a moment before he says his next statements, but he knows that he has to say it. "The Beth that likes fresh fruit, running, eating breakfast in bed and high finance is in there, but she's fragments. I want to help you put you back together so I can have the Beth back that doesn't puke at the sound of the name, the Beth that isn't afraid to go running alone, the Beth that would make love to my whole body and not make me feel like we're going through the motions." and he stops right there, because that made her look at him.
"What do you mean by that? When we make love, I give you all of me and I take all of you." she states, she was hurt by what he just said. "That hurt Jon."
"It wasn't meant to hurt you, babe. But no one knows you like I do and when you make love to me, I can tell that it's not all of you. It feels like you're holding back."
The lump in her throat was starting to burn and it was hard to swallow, "Are you serious?"
He nods his head yes. "I can tell that you're somewhere else and I know that will change in time. And I want you to know that THAT is the least of my concerns. I want you, and I want you better."
Beth has no idea what he's talking about. Could it be possible that he sees something that she doesn't. Did Dalton rob them of more than they thought? Has he entered the most ultimate part of their relationship and destroyed it? "Honey, I can't believe that you think that you get less of me when we make love."
"That's not what I'm saying." he gets up and sits on her lap. Looking her in the eyes he explains, "When we used to make love, the desire in your eyes was unmistakable. But now, when I look into your eyes, I can see that you're somewhere else. And I don't mean that you're thinking of someone else and you just want it to be over, it's like you're removed from your body."
She doesn't know what to say. She rests her arm across his legs and looks up at him, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"It's nothing that you need to be sorry about. I just wanted to let you know what I see, babe."
"When we're making love, it's just me and you."
"Do you relive the attack at all, when we're together?" was a question he has wanted to as for weeks, but was truthfully afraid of the answer. He doesn't want to hear that his touch reminds her of a terrible time in her life, probably the 2nd worse time in her life.
"NO, not at all. And that surprises me. The shrink said that it may happen, but when we make love - he and the attack never enters my mind." she swallows hard again, the burn getting worse and her stomach turning. "I see reminders of him in everyday life and have learned to cope with them."
Curious, Jon asks, "What types of reminders?"
Beth reaches for her coffee and takes a sip. That buys her a few seconds and she starts to tell him, "I can walk passed someone in the mall and smell him. I see products that he's invested in all the time. There are sounds that I hear that remind me of him, some days he's everywhere."
"How do you deal with it?" he asks her, running his hands through her long blonde hair.
She admits, "I just breath through it and try to focus on something else. But that was before I knew he was free."
"You're safe."
"I know, I met the guys earlier." she runs her hand up his thigh, then lingers on his uncovered belly. She loves when he's shirtless. She traces his belly button with a finger and tells him, "You can go home today if you want, I'll be fine."
"I'm not leaving until morning. Already took care of it." he looks at her, wondering where that came from. "Do you think I would leave before I had to?"
She smiles and just shakes her head no. "Ok, so what do you want to do today?" Looking up, she adds, "It's a prefect day here today, looks like the sky is the limit."
"Let's go into town. I want to take a look around and see what's here."
"I need to shower, are you going to join me?" she pats him on his leg. "You need to let me up."
Winking at her, he leans over and kisses her forehead. "I love you."
"I love you."
They took some time and went into town and had a quick look around. As they walked through the small town square, they were spotted by a fan that made a big deal out of it. She started to scream hysterically and made one hell of a scene. Mutt and Jeff quickly ushered Jon and Beth back to the SUV and got them out of town. There wasn't anyplace that they could hide and wait it out, so they just went back to the Vineyard. That bummed Beth out, but it was a cheap exchange for spending the rest of her life with her rock star. She had to give up a little, to get a lot and she could live with that.
When they got out of the SUV back at the Vineyard, it was obvious that word had leaked that they were there and that quickly became too much for Beth. As they stood in the living room of the vineyard home, looking out the window Beth grabbed his hand and said, "Let's go home."
Jon looks at her, "Why?"
"It doesn't feel safe anymore." and she walks into the bedroom. He stands there and stares for a minute, there are a few fans out there, but once word got out - the whole world would know that he's there. He knows he needs to get her out of there. He goes into the bedroom and sees her throwing her things back in her bags. "I think I'll call Vincenzo tomorrow and give him the management position, until I can get out here and find a new one."
Jon can see that she's not happy, but the fact of the matter is, there wasn't anything he could do to make her feel better other than get her out of there. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" she asks as she takes her clothes off of the hangers and flings them into her bag. "Sorry that I brought the asshole into our lives and God knows how long we'll have to pay for it."
Jon walks up to her and stops her, with a hand on each shoulder he reassures her again, "Beth, this is not your fault. Stop thinking that it is."
"How am I supposed to do that?" she snaps back. Feeling overwhelmed she sits on the edge of the bed, "If I didn't love you and your children like I do, if I had kicked you out of my apartment, if I had stayed away from the show in Greece.....I could have avoided all of this, if I had thought with my head and not my heart."
He sits sown next to her and takes her hands, "You have to stop beating yourself up over this, this isn't your fault, in any way."
"Had I listened to you in New York, we wouldn't be leaving our own property because some asshole might find out where I'm at."
He kisses her hands and says, "If you want to place blame, place it here. I could have told you I was going to Greece and given you the option to change your plans. But I knew you'd be at the show."
"That would have only prevented him from catching us together. I should have kicked you out of my apartment before we made love. That's the only thing that would have avoided all of this."
"Ok, but you didn't and we just need to deal with it the best way that we can. I'll get you the best security money can buy, babe you will be safe."
"Who wants to live in the shadow of a body guard, and we need to stop assuming that he's coming after me? He could have a case of the ass for you too. You need security, too." She gets up to finish packing.
When she's done with her clothes and personal things, she packs Jon's up too. He went outside and talked to the guards that are on duty, letting them know that they would need to take them to the airport. He then walked off and had a cigarette while he called his pilot and told him to file a flight plan, they were leaving tonight.
Beth needs to deal with her anger and stop blaming herself for Dalton's actions towards her.
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