Chapter 80 - I Can Forgive You, But I Won't Re-live You

 

The doorbell scared Beth as she was upstairs getting ready.  She has said for months that she wants to change the damn thing, the ding dong sounded ridiculous and very inappropriate for a house of that size and that expensive.  

She wanted something elegant and pleasant sounding.

Touching up her lip gloss, she hops down the stairs and answers the door.  “Hello!  Come in, come in.”  She welcomes Dani into their home.  Dani is her first guest, the first person that she has invited over and she was excited about it.

Dani stepped in and kicked her flip flops off at the door, “Wow this place is gorgeous, you LIVE her?” 

“Yes, we live here.”  Beth replies, thinking that was an odd statement, but brushes it off.  “Come on, let’s go find Jon so you can say hello.”

Dani and Beth walk to the back of the house, peeking into the living room, the great room and their office, not finding Jon.  Beth happened to catch him out of the corner of her eye, sitting in the back yard reading his book.  She opens the French door that separate her from him and says, “Hey, we have company.”

Jon turns around and looks over his shoulder, “Hey Dani.” He says as he gets up to hug her hello.  “How are you?”

“Good Jon, how are you?” she hugs him back, kissing him on the cheek.

“I’m good.  Welcome to Casa Adams – Bongiovi.”

“You have a lovely home and an amazing view.  Thank you for having me over.” She replies, looking at both of them.

Beth can see that Jon wants to get back to his book and that he really didn’t need to be around for the girl talk, “Let’s go get something to drink.  Red or white?”  she asks Dani.

Jon jumps in, “There are very good years of both in the wine cooler.”  Beth steps over to him and kisses him on the lips, smiling.

“Thank you babe.” She says as the women walk away.  He watches them walk away, loving the woman that’s on the right.  She is perfect, in every way and she makes him feel perfect in every way.  Yes, he was watching Beth walk away.

He reclaims his seat in the sun and the women go in the house. 

Beth pours Dani a glass of Pinot and herself a glass of cranberry/grape juice and then she takes her on a tour of the house.  Dani is impressed, but she isn’t seeing anything that she hadn’t owned herself.  When she was married, her husband was a professional and they lived a fabulous lifestyle – maybe not the likes of a rock star, but she had nice things in a beautiful home. 

When the tour of the house was complete, Beth asked Dani “Do you want to hang out in here, go sit with Jon or we can head to the riverbank.”

“The riverbank would be nice.”  Dani states.  “But if you would rather we hang out somewhere else, that’s fine.”

“I’d pick the river.  That’s a peaceful place for me; I could sit there for hours.”  Beth starts to open up, a little.

“Then let’s go sit on the river.”

The women make their way back out to the back of the house, passing Jon again.  Beth just kisses him quick as they pass by, and he cracks her on the ass.  She smiles and continues on with her friend until they reach a bench.  

Sitting down, Beth says, “Jon had these put in for me.  He got sick of seeing me sit on the grass when I was pregnant with the twins.”

“That was nice of him.”  Dani smiles, “I’m so sorry for your loss, by the way.”

Beth cracks a smile, trying to be polite while sometimes the very mention of them makes her cry.  Even more now that her hormones have kicked in, “I’m sorry for your loss as well.”

“Isn’t it funny what bonds people together?”  Dani starts to open up a little too, feeling like Beth was a friend.  A friend was something that they both needed and they are grateful that they found one another.  “I mean, if you weren’t the kind hearted caring person that you are, I never would have met you.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Where else could we have met?  You don’t strike me as the strip club type.” Dani laughs, she can’t even picture Beth in a place like that.  Beth was all class.  “I think you were put in that cemetery to find me, and me to find you.”

“That’s possible.” Beth says, having had the very same thought that she did.  “I thought that too.  If it wasn’t for my current circumstance, I probably wouldn’t have even been in the cemetery on that night, making me go back the next day.”

“What circumstance?” Dani asks, really not knowing what Beth is talking about, unless what she heard in the news was true.  “Are you referring to what was all over the news lately?”

Beth nods her head.  “Yeah.”

“Oh Beth, I’m so sorry.  I was hoping that TMZ was making shit up.”

“I wish.”

“What are you going to do?”  Dani questions, wondering what they have planned. 

“Do?” Beth doesn’t understand her question.  “What do you mean what are we going to do?”

“About the baby?” Dani replies, with a hint of what are you, stupid in her voice.

“We aren’t doing anything about the baby, except praying that we carry her to term and she’s born healthy.  What else can we do?”

“You’re carrying her and there’s a real good possibility that you could lose her?”

Beth is a little miffed at this point, who was this woman talking to her like that?  “There isn’t anything I could or would change right now.  There’s a possibility that she’s going to be just fine.”  Beth stands up, “Are you referring to those people that think we should abort her because she may be in pain?  The ones that think and talk like Jon and I have no idea what we’re doing?”

“Well………”

“No fucking well about it.” She gets a little animated, especially when others try to dictate her life and what she should do.  “Let’s not have this discussion, alright.  It’s far too personal for me, and you’re here to visit.”

Dani gets up and places her hand on Beth’s shoulder, “Beth, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know.”

“You seem like you have it all together, all worked out I never thought that you wouldn’t want to talk about it.”

Beth looks at her, tears rolling down her cheeks, “It’s still pretty raw.”

“I never even considered that, again, I am so sorry.”

Beth understands where Dani is coming from and she can only hope that Dani understands where Beth is coming from and where she is at.  “What sounds good for dinner?  Are you hungry?”  Beth asks her friend, feeling a little silly because she was pretty mean, and she didn’t mean to be.  Dani’s intentions were well, but Beth has had her share of gossip and bullshit to last her a lifetime since she’s been with Jon.

“I could eat.” 

“Let’s go see what we have, unless you would rather go out?”

Dani likes the idea of going out, “I would love to go out, since Kenna died, I haven’t been able to go and eat at a real restaurant.  The strip club food is terrible.”

“Where would you like to go?”  Beth hooks her arm and leads her toward the house.  Beth is watching Jon, sitting there smoking a cigarette, reading his book.  “Do we want him to go with us?”

Dani was cool about it, although who wouldn’t want to have dinner with Jon Bon Jovi?  She tries to hide her excitement about that question but says, “If he wants.”

When they get to him, Beth says, “We’re going to go grab a bite, do you want to join us?”

Jon, using his book to shield his eyes from the sun looks at Beth and says, “Thanks for the invite, but I think I’m heading back into the studio.  You girls go ahead, have fun.”

“Aww, come on Jon.  How often can you go to dinner with your baby mamma and a stripper?”  she jokes, not expecting his response.

“All of my meals are eaten with a stripper.  You didn’t know that Beth used to be a stripper?”

“Knock it off.”  Beth smiles as she lifts her foot to kick him, correcting his behavior.  “I was not a stripper, Jon.  I was a hooker.  BIG difference.” She laughs, “Get it right, will ya.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Dani reiterates.  “I think it would be great if you joined us.”

Standing up, he kisses Beth on the cheek, “Nope, I’m going to work.  This Bill Clinton book inspired me to rule the world and I can’t do it from a lounge chair.”

“Want us to bring you back something?”

“That’s up to you.  If not, pizza hut is on speed dial.”  They kiss each other and the girls leave him alone to bond.

The girls get in Beth’s car and go up to the little mom and pop on Route 35.  Nothing fancy, but Beth has never been there and neither has Dani.  They sat across from one another and talk.

“How did you meet Jon?”

“Backstage at a concert.” She’s embarrassed, she didn't want anyone to think that she was a groupie, Beth was all class.

“Really?” Dani is shocked by that.  “I hear backstage at a Bon Jovi concert is harder to get in that Ft. Knox.”

“I’ve heard that too, but this was a couple of years ago.”

“Here in Jersey?”

Beth shakes her head no, “I was in L.A. working and my best friend took me to the show.  I had no idea what to expect, but I literally bumped into him.  And the rest is history.  Very public history.”

“Lucky!”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”  Beth teases; she knows that she is very lucky to have such a wonderful man in her life.

“Working in L.A., were you a hooker for real?”

Laughing, Beth can hardly stop, “Oh hell no.  I was working at an investment firm back then.  I was never a hooker or a stripper.”

“You worked at an investment firm back then, what do you do now?”  Dani asks.

“Now I own one.   We just, I mean I just opened one last week in the city.  Jon and I own an vineyard out in California – my favorite job is taking care of him and his children.”

“Do they like you?”

“Yeah.”  Beth cannot help but smile.  Dani goes into like a daydream stare, Beth notices that and asks her, “Tell me about your ex, tell me about McKenna.  You know all about me, I know very little about you and your life.”

“My ex…………..well he’s an asshole.  Like I said, he’s a professional that had great lawyers,  so he got everything that we had.  No one would even take my case knowing that he would be the defendant.  There was nothing I could do, nowhere to turn.”

“Was he like that when you married him?”

“We weren't really married; it was more a common law marriage.”

“And no one would help you?”

“No.”

“Was he like that from the beginning?”

“No, he was great in the beginning.  It went downhill when I got pregnant with Kenna.  He didn’t want to have a baby, well not with me anyway.”

“What do you mean, not with me anyway?  Does he have kids?”  Beth questions, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, he has children and a new life already and I was left in the quake of destruction – which has somehow led me to you.”

Beth looks at the woman across from her and can’t help but feel for her, she’s experienced loss too – that’s the thread that will bind them together.  “I believe that things happen for a reason and I’m glad that we were able to find each other.”

“Me too.”

They continue conversation over dinner and learn even more about how alike they are.  Beth feels great for having a woman to talk to; that she can burden with the trials of being with a rock star.  Her closest friend was more like a daughter and she can imagine talking to Stephanie about half of what she will tell Dani.

They laugh, they cry, they are gone so long Jon calls Beth to make sure she’s okay.  With her cell phone ringing, Beth says, “Excuse me, it’s Jon.”  She slides her finger over the screen, accepting his call.  “Hey gorgeous.”

“Is everything okay?” he asks and Beth can detect a tone.

“Everything is fine, why?” she replies, looking at her watch.  She crinkles her eyebrows and waits for it.

“Well, you've been gone for almost 5 hours.”

“Sorry.  We’re right up at Delmonico’s, come join us.” She tries to lighten his mood, but it doesn't work. 

“I hate to be this way, but tonight is the first night without kids since your party, I would really like to spend some time with you.  Is that too much to ask?”

“Seriously Jon, you’re playing the needy card?”  Beth barks, without meaning too.  Jon’s behavior was odd, or so she thought.  He’s never done that to her, so why now?

“Needy?  Is that what you think this is, needy?” he snaps back at her. 

“Yeah, kind of.” She whispers.

Jon, always aware of his surroundings is now being mindful of hers; he’s not going to let this escalate into a fight that they will either see on the news or read about in the morning’s paper.   He ends it.  “What this is Beth is me reaching out to you in my time of need.  I learned that we were having a girl the same time that you did and I have waited for my opportunity to talk to you about my thoughts and feelings regarding the matter, I am sorry that I gave you the space that I thought that you needed – it obviously wasn’t enough.”  

And the phone goes dead.  

Beth’s heart is in her throat and she can barely breathe.